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Edward's Funeral

Classic Sinister Six Epilouge

This story is dedicated to Edward (The Old Elec Man). May he live on to greater things.

This is the Season Finally or so you call it. It pretty much ends the season with Edward. But he will always be remembered as a valuble member upon the great Sinister Six. Now on with the tale... NOTE: This story continues after The Sinister Six and X-Force Crossover. Remember to read that first before reading this story.

It has been nearly 3 weeks since the Crossover with the X-Force)

(At Sinister Five headquarters the quintet get ready for Edward’s Funeral)

Jason: It’s sad…usually Eddie starts off every story. (sniff)
Scott: And now you get to start off the stories now Jason…(sniff) It’s not fair, but I miss Edward.
Tim: We all do, so lets go to the funeral. I’ll go check on IRA and Gary. You two put on your normal outfits. It’ll be best that we don’t wear our armor this time.

(In the living room Gary and IRA tiredly switch through channels)

Newscaster: In sudden news today Super Chaos surprisingly not causing any trouble. And in breath taking. Eyewitness reports that she saw a man eating his own foot… but spectators...

(Gary changes the Channel)

Gary: Cossack’s Creation’s is on.

Rick: Hmm…I wonder what this does.

(Dust Man explodes)

Kirk: You killed Dustman! You bast..

(IRA switches the channel)

IRA: Already Seen it. Let’s watch the X-Force.

Ben: (pulls out his stun gun)

Anton: Hey! NO! I WAS ONLY KIDDING!! (gets zapped) AAACK!!

(Gary turns off the TV)

Gary: It’s just not as funny anymore.

Tim: Yep..nothing is funny without Edward.

(Soon the five get ready and head out the door out of their armor)

(Inside The Six…now Five mobile)

Gary: I don’t think any of our viewers have seen us without our armor before.

Jason: We’ll they get a first look.

IRA: Hey Tim, you mind slowing down a little… my stomach is a little itchy.

Scott: Probably from drinking all that beer earlier.

IRA: Who asked you!!

Scott: Well, that’s why you are feeling sick.

IRA: One Fire Storm Scott! That’s all it takes to...

Tim: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP OR I’LL LET GARY DRIVE!!

IRA and Scott: (silence)

Jason: We all are a little edgy, but we will live on.

Gary: (nods)

(Nothing much was said as they approach the Funeral home)

(MD awaits them as they pull up to the church house)

Ben: Hey guys, glad you made it. Everyone else has already been.

Tim: Thanks for waiting up for us.

Ben: Anytime. After witnessing the entire thing, I kinda feel I owe it to you guys to show up.

Gary: Okay…what do you want in return..

Ben: (playing innocent) Um…nothing.

(Soon the bunch head into the main lobby where suprisingly Super Chaos, Bass, and City Garage awaited them)

Tim: YOU!!! SINISTER SIX REUN…

Super Chaos: We aren’t here to cause any trouble. We came to the funeral.

The Six: (blank expressions on their faces)

City Garage: After all, it was the living weapon that killed him. Not us.

Super Chaos: (with a tear In his eye) I am your enemy yes, but I will never actually (kill) you guys. Maybe hurt you, or drop an anvil on your head, or run you over with a steamroller, or...

Bass: Enough!! I think they know what you mean.

Six: (Still with blank expressions on their faces)

Jason: Yeah, damned machine had a black heart.

Ben: I’ll vow that I destroy it.

(Later the Ceremony started and all bodies took their seats as Tim got up on the stage)

Tim: As leader of the Sinister Six, I have to say that.. (a body comes tumbling in)

Andon: Sorry all, I’m late. I’ll take my seat now.

Tim: Anyways. Edward was a valued member of our team. A person that cannot be replaced.

(Everyone in the building started to tear up)

Tim: A true friend an all out forever partner in battle. I will truly miss him…(starts to break up in tears). So…*sniff* lets have some words about him. (sniff). Does anyone have anything to say..(sniff)

IRA: I miss they way he would beat me at getting a girl friend. (sniffles)

Gary: (teared up) I miss the way he can cream me at basketball. (lets it all out)

Scott: I missed the way that he always made fun of my cooking. (baws out)

Jason: I missed how he would shock Iceman when he made a corny joke. (cries)

Gary: We’ll you always teased him with your blades, on how that was his weakness. (cries)

Scott: If you wouldn’t stop putting fake dead rats in his bed, he wouldn’t be so darn angry in the mornings Gary!! (cries)

IRA: You always put bombs in his cupcakes Scott!! How do you think he felt falling for the same trick over and over again! (cries)

Jason: If you would stop trying to pop his basketballs and stealing his girlfriends, maybe he would of liked us more!!

Ben: Yeah! (in tears)

(The four look at Ben)

Jason: You kept on coming over and throwing stuff at him. (cries)

Scott: Yeah! He was scared of you every time you came over (cries)

Ben: Ohhhh…Be Quiet. (cries more) (The Four point at each other and say the same line)

IRA, Gary, Scott, Jason: IT’S YOUR FAULT HE’S DEAD!!!

(Soon the entire funeral house was in tears)

Tim: Guys! (sniff). It’s no one’s fault that he’s dead. It just happened.

Ben: Yeah! Stop (sniff) blaming yourselves. Eddie wouldn’t have wanted that.

Andon: (looks at the poor souls) Poor guys...

(Even Super Chaos, Bass, and City Garage where crying their hearts out)

Bass: If you had stopped picking on them, this would have never happened!! (cries)

City Garage: ME! I’ve only starred in one fricken Epilogue!! Yellow Butt over there was the one picking on them!! (cries)

Super Chaos: (cries so hard he can’t talk)

City Garage: See!! He’s speechless (cries)

(It was a sad day at the funeral, but in a couple of hours it was all over and the Five went back to Headquarters)

Jason: Well, that sure made me feel better. Usually going to a funeral and coming back lets you put all the bad times behind you and you face the world knowing that your friend has moved on to a greater place.

Tim: Indeed. If you four idiots would of stopped blaming yourselves back there it may have worked just fine.

Gary: Oh yeah! Well, you were always crapping to Edward that you always were the “better” leader.

Tim: Yes, and I hate myself for it. Now let’s move on!!

Jason: So what are we going to call ourselves now. There’s only five of us. And Sinister Five doesn’t sound too impressive.

Gary: Why not Gary’s Quintet?

IRA: Shut up!! You’re not the leader.

Gary: Okay...Tim’s Quintet?

Tim: Too childish.

Jason: The Big Vive?

Tim: Not bad, but to short.

Scott: The Fantastic Five?

Tim: Already been done with the Fantastic Four.

Scott: We’ll we did steal Sinister Six from Marv...

Tim: BE QUIET!! WE DIDN'T STEAL NOTHING!

Scott: (silence)

Gary: The Backstreet Boys?

(Everyone looks at Gary and pull out stun guns)

Gary: Wait a minute!!! Where did you get… (gets shot) ACK!!!

IRA: The Fabulous Five?

Tim: Hmmm... Not bad.

(Soon the TV news Broadcast turns on automatically)

Jason: You had to import the automatic news reports didn’t ya Tim?

NewsWoman: A deadly force has taken to the Nuclear Power Plant. Seems to be draining all the energy in the entire city.

Tim: I don’t feel like going

(The others turn to Tim in disbelief)

Gary: WHAT!!!??

Jason: You not wanting to be a hero?

Tim: Let the Cossack’s Creations or Mechanical Maniacs stop it.

IRA: I don’t believe it!!

Scott: (is speechless)

Jason: We can’t give up being a hero cause Eddie is gone.

Tim: Yes, but how many more of us will perish? I can’t survive if another one of you was to die. I just can’t live with it! I’m responsible for you guys! I was responsible for Eddie’s Death!! (Tim put his head in his arms)

Jason: (puts his hand on Tim’s shoulder) Being a hero has its flaws Tim. You told me that.

Gary: (puts his finger up ready to do a joke, but decides now is not the time)

Gary: This Epilogue will hit “0” on the funny-o-meter.

(The Five then turn their attention to the broadcast)

NewsWoman: This Green thing is unstoppable!! (shows a picture of the living weapon…that killed Edward)

Tim: (Leaps up from his seat) YOU!!! I VOW REVENGE!!! KILL!!! DESTROY GREEN THING!! GUTS MAN TRANSFORM!!!

(Tim does an awesome transformation and in mere seconds he is Gutsman)

Jason: Now, that’s what I’m talking about! Cutman Transform!

Gary: Ice Man Transform!!

IRA: We’ll revenge your death Edward! Fire Man Transform!

Scott: Bomb Man! Transform!!

(In seconds the rest of the Five were battle armor ready and they flew out the door like there’s no tomorrow)

Gary: I didn’t know we could fly.

Tim: It’s a secret I’ve been meaning to tell you all.

Jason: THIS WOULD OF CAME IN HANDY IN THE PAST YOU KNOW!!!

Tim: Ah...shut it.

(at the Power Plant)

Weapon: Puny mortals. You can’t fight worth trash! (uses telepathy to crush tanks and destroy Jets)

(Soon the Five Arrive at the scene)

Weapon: At last you puny robots decide to show up.

Tim: YOU WILL DIE MURDERER!! PERISH! VAMOSH!!

Gary: (whispering to Jason) Don’t wanna piss Gutsy off.

Jason: No kidding. He lifted the entire Empire State Building and threw it at Super Chaos when he said Tim looked like a big banana.

Gary: Wow.

Weapon: My name is Scorpion Roach, and you’ll remember this name when I send you to the grave with your friend.

Tim: LET’S GO!! (runs up to punch the beast but gets stopped dead in his tracks)

Scorpion: (evil laugh) Watch this magic trick. (Throws Tim out of the Plant)

The Four: TIM!!

Scorpion: Who is next to defy me?

(The Four enter the battle and hopelessly get thrown about by Scorpion’s telekenetic powers) (One by one each member gets badly injured)

Jason: This is impossible.

Scott: I can’t get near him!

IRA: FIRESTORM!!

(The Fire runs around Scorpion like he had some sort of force field around him)

Scorpion (yawns and throws IRA out of the plant using his mind)

Tim: I’M NOT GIVING UP!!! (runs towards Scorpion using all his strength)

Scorpion: You'd think you'd learn the first time you tried that stunt. (uses his power to stop Tim, but its not enough this time)

Tim: (slowly breaks through Scorpion's hold)

Scott: Woah! Look at that!!

Jason: Go Tim!!

Tim: (continues to fight the telepathic current)

Scorpion: (strengthens his hold on Tim) Impossible! Nothing is able to resist my power!!

Tim: Must...revenge...Edward!! (gets closer to Scorpion)

Scorpion: Grrrrrr.. (sweats hard as he continues his assault on Tim)

(Finally Tim gets close enough to Scorpion and grabs him by the neck)

Scorpion: How!!??

Tim: This is for Edward!!!

(Tim punches a hole through Scorpions stomach)

Tim: And this is for the rest of us!!!

(Tim Punches Scorpion’s head clean off)

(Scorpion’s body falls to the floor)

Gary: (whispers to Jason) I told ya never to make Tim mad.

(Tim looks down at the battered body and looks at his hands)

Tim: Man…I did it. (smiles)

(But victory only lasted seconds as Tim felt a force stronger than ever grab him and throw him to the back wall)

(IRA comes back into the plant)

Scott, Gary, and Jason: TIM!!!

(Scorpion gets to his feet)

Scorpion: Uggg...that hurt!! But now you are going to hurt!

(The four run up to Scorpion but get stopped dead in their tracks)

Scorpion: Once I finish big boy over there, you too will get your turn to fight me.

(Scorpion swings his tail, which is now injected with lethal poison) (The stuff that killed Edward)

Jason: (struggles to get free) NOOO!!

Gary: STOP!!

IRA: PLEASE, NO MORE!!

Scott: (covers his eyes in horror)

Tim: (covers his eyes as well)

(As Scorpion prepares to swipe at Tim a slash comes from the rafters and Scorpion's tail falls to the ground)

Scorpion: WHAT? (Looks back) (A figure flys from the rafters and smashes right through Scorpions Body)

(Scorpion looses his grip upon the Five and they all fall to the ground)

Andon: Enough!! Time to finish you and your evil deeds!!

Scorpion: Blasted! I’m too weak to fight! Until next time you freaks!!

(Scorpion retreats)

(The Five regain themselves and look at their hero)

Tim: Andon...I’m so grateful. Thanks you so much. You saved my life.

Andon: I gave him all my power, and he still lives, he is one tough weapon. I best be going now.

Gary: Wait!! Don’t go!

(Andon stops)

Gary: Will you join us...(Gary Faints)

(The five jump at his words and then run to Gary’s aid)

Tim: GARY!!

Andon: (thinks about Gary’s words and helps out)

(everything blacks out)

(back at the headquarters Gary awakes on his bed with Andon standing over him)

Gary: Andon!

(sips his pink lemonade)

Andon: Oi my frozen friend.

Gary: What happened...I feel funny.

Andon: You blacked out and went into a coma for several days. But you seem to be tiptop shape now. Tim was worried about you.

Gary: Really? How is the Fabulous Five doing now? Have they seen any action?

Andon: (remains silent for a second)

Andon: We are the Sinister Six now...

Gary: Sinister Six? But there’s only...

(Gary gets cut off as Andon transforms into Elecman)

Gary: WHAT! YOU JOINED!!

Andon: It took a while...but in the end Tim wanted me to join. He knows how much good friends we are and well…It’s time I join a team. I need to do something with my life. And working solo kinda bites. (takes another sip of his Pink Lemonade)

Gary: This is awesome!!

Andon: Yes...but get some rest.

(Soon the rest of the six walk in)

Jason: I take it that Andon has told you the news.

Gary: Yup.

Tim: Some hero’s we turned out to be. Almost got killed today.

(everyone looks at Andon to say his lines)

Andon: Oh!! (puts down his lemonade)

Andon: (At least I got a new CD burner so I can start writing my own music now)

(The six Sigh)

Tim: He’ll get it soon.

Jason: True that, and maybe IRA will start drinking caffeine instead of liquor.

IRA: (burps)

Gary: Nah...that’ll never happen.

Scott: Well, I got....

Tim: (Interupts Scott) END!!!

Narrator: So now the story has unfolded. Edward will always be a cherished memory and Andon the new Elecman is now welcomed to the group. What new adventures will await our hero’s? Stay tuned!! Who hired me to star on this show anyway!! I get paid more for being the narrator at Pokemon

END!