Sinister Six Promo to Ice vs Red
Iceman vs Red Promo
Narrator: Not to far off on an isolated location
our heroes meet to discuss the terms of Red. Their most
devious and most powerful opponent up to date. Even
though the last battle with Red only delayed the process*,
Gauntlet had discovered a plan to end Red's rein once
and for all.
*Year Of The FoX
Andon: This plan is very risky Gauntlet. There's no telling
that Gary will return.
Gauntlet: True, but the risk is well worth the play to end Red's
plan of global domination.
Ben: Yes. I'm afraid not even The X-Force would be a match
for him. Now. The best place to strike is when Red is
at his weakest.
*Note: Ben's team was destroyed by Red in 21XX, and
now Ben's soul was transfered over to Heatman of the
Gary: You sure this won't effect me at all in the present
time if I destroy Red in the past?
Andon: *getting the machine ready* Indeed my Parka wearing
friend. Red doesn't have his god-like powers at this
moment in time. So his curse on how both of you are
interconnected won't be placed yet.
Gauntlet: Right. From what you told me Gary, he was banished back
through time after an accident in Dr. Light's lab. If
you can go back in time where Red is, and destroy him
off before he can get these powers, all should seem
well in the present.
Ben: The question is where in time was Red sent?
Andon: Gary said the dawn of time. But that doesn't make any
Gary: How's that?
Andon: Back then there weren't enough souls to consume except
for prehistoric life forms. Their strength made them
great, but Red seemed all to smart for absourbing Dinosaur
and Cave People souls. I think Red had been transported
in a more well populated era. With millions of intellegent
Gauntlet: I agree. All kinds of different kinds of souls to eat
and absourb. A place where people die everyday.
Gary: A place of wide open space. Millions of places to visit...
Ben: A very hostile place also. Danger at every corner. (The
Computer had finished its dialosus and the four figures
said at the same time what the computer had outputed
where Red had been transported a long time before)
Gary, Andon, Gauntlet: The Star Wars Universe.
Gauntlet: *starting up the time machine* That place is just booming
Andon: Which explains how Red got so powerful. He ate souls
of millions of deaths that had occured during that time
Gary: Any you guys been there before?
Ben: Hell no.
Andon: Afriad not my friend.
Ben: Though I'd like to try out one of those B-Wings myself.
Gauntlet: If they exist during this period of the Star Wars Timeline.
Gary: I've never been a Star War Lingo fanatic....what's a
B-Wing? Is it like a Hot Wing you get at Hooters?
(Everyone falls over)
Ben: Do you know what a Ewok is?
Gary: Nope, doesn't ring a bell.
Gauntlet: Do you know what species Jabba The Hutt is?
Andon: Do you have any idea what time zone this peroid takes
Ben: I don't think anyone knows that Andon.
Gauntlet: Gary's gonna need a Star Wars guide, or he won't know
a Chewbacca from a 3CPO.
Gary: Great...isn't there anyone who can help me through this?
(At that moment Searchman comes riding through the doors)
Sparky: Howdey folks! Lucky for you, the Star Wars Freak is
Gary: The leader of the Robotic Raiders eh? Finally you made
it into one of these Epilouges.
Sparky: No kidding greedy ass sons of a ...anyways, if you're going back in time.
You'll be heading down the path of Episode 2.
Gary: Episode 2?
Andon: I think he means the 2nd chapter of Star Wars Gary.
Gary: Oh...*looks confused*
Gauntlet: I'm no buff of this series either, but from what I hear
Chapter 2 is really ugly with lots of deaths and battles.
Sparky: Exactly! That my friend is a feeding frenzy for Red.
Gauntlet: Hmmm...if you can somehow defeat Red before this....
Sparky: Clone Wars!
Gauntlet: Right...if you can beat Red before this Clone Wars takes
place, then you may stand more of a fighting chance.
Gary: What if I just went back to the point before Red even
placed that curse?
Andon: Afraid not my Eskmio Friend. He placed that curse to
far into the past...it's tough enough that I can get
you this far.
Gauntlet: Andon's right. This Time Machine is greatly damaged.
Once we send you into the past, you have to get back
on your own. The Machine will be destroyed.
Gary: How do I get back?
Andon: *hands Gary a green crystal* This crystal has enough
energy for one unit of time travel. ONce you've destroyed
Red, you can simply use your teleporation chip along
with this crystal to get you back.
Ben: However, if you screw up and comeback without defeating
Red, you won't get another chance again.
Andon: Which is why this trip is risky. You have only once
Sparky: Well, Andon said that only three people can go on this
trip. I know Gary and I are the selected few. Whose
Ben: Gary's gonna have to pick someone with raw power if
he hopes to survive the dangers of this world.
Gauntlet: Or someone with the know how on cheating and finding
fast and easy shortcuts!
Andon: Or someone who has the brains to get out of any situation.
Ben, Andon: So who is it Gary?
(A figure walks into the room)
(Everyone falls over)
Sparky: Why him! Of all people!?
Gary: Well, a man's gotta eat right? I know one thing about
Star Wars. Their foods gotta be different than ours.
Scott can be pretty useful.
Ben: *sweat drops* Always thinking with his stomach...
later Gary, Sparky and Scott are placed into the Time
Gauntlet: Remember, once you've left our dimention, you'll lose
all contact with us.
Andon: Off you guys go then. We'll remain here until your safe
Ben: *flips a switch and the Time Machine vanishes in a mist
cork pops off a bottle*
Gauntlet: Whoooo Hoooo!! Finally he's gone!
Andon: No more pranks! No more Pranks! *takes a sip of his
Ben: I'll drink to that fellas! *clangs his bottle with Gauntlet's*
smoke clears and the Time Machine still remains where
Sparky: Ummm...guys. We're still here. Remember it takes about
20 seconds for the thing to move.
Ben, Andon: 0.0
Gary: BEN! I thought we were pals!
Ben: *looking nervous* We were just celebrating your soon
to come victory...yeah...that's it. *looks to the others
Gauntlet: *hiding his bottle* Ummm...right.
(At that moment a large flash brightned the room and
the Time Machine is gone)
Ben: *whispering to Andon* Think they really gone this time...?
Andon: *whispering back* Looks like it.
Gauntlet: Well then...onward with the celebration...of Iceman's
victory. *looks around*
cork pops and they laugh)
Ben: *whispering* No more pranks...*bottles up*
in the Star Wars Universe*
Obiwan: *asleep in his bed* I sence a disturbace in force! Nooo!!
Anakin: *walking in* It's just me you ass whipe. I got breakfast.
Obiwan: Ahh...that's what I smelled. The usuaul I take.
Anakin: Yup. Scrambled Eggs with Demesion Stu.
Obiwan: So my young padawan, how's Padme doing this morning?
Anakin: *with a grin on his face* She's taking a shower master...
Obiwan: ANAKIN! You didn't...
Anakin: What? Me? Master, you should have more trust in your
number one student.
Obiwan: *looks at him with puzzlement* How did she look?
Anakin: *licks his lips* To die for Master.
Obiwan: *pats Anakin's shoulder* You're learning my fine young
(Meanwhile right outside the complex a flash of light
Gary: Alright! That's the last time I let you borrow my barfing
Scott: I get time machine sick damnit!
Sparky: QUIET! The both of you. We're here. Don't want to cause
attention to ourselves...*he looks around* Guys? Guys?
*Iceman is checking out the speeders by the entrance
way while Scott is looking down from his high perch*
Scott: Whoah...*almost looses his balance but Sparky catchs
Sparky: WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING MAN! *he lowers his voice* You
trying to get us all killed! We look so out of place
Gary: Relax Search. *checking out a white speeder* I know
what I'm doing...*an alarm goes off* Uh...oh.
Obiwan: I here it too! It's coming from outside.
is already on his way outside)
Obiwan: I hate it when he does that...
Gary: *is sitting inside the speeder* Whoah...check out all
these buttons and controls.
Sparky: GARY!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING...PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK YOU'RE....
Anakin: Stealing That speeder! Okay You've been caught.
Scott: Cool! A Jedi Knight!
Gary: A what? A Inline Flight? All aboard! *Gary starts the
hops in followed by Sparky*
Sparky: That's no ordinary Jedi Knight...that's Anakin Skywalker
(Anakin lights his light sabre and charges at the speeder)
Scott: *screams with his mouth wide open*
Gary: Hmmmm...I wonder what this does.
pushes it and it shakes*
Sparky: Maybe you'd better let me drive...
attempts the controls*
Gary: *looks at Sparky meanfully* Don't ever do that again...
Sparky: Alright...alright...JUST GET US OUT OF HERE!!
(The Speeder ammeditly lifts off and flys away from
Anakin's burning Sabre)
Obiwan: Use the Force Anakin. He can't get far if you use the
Anakin: Yes Master. Care to join me Master?*He hops into a yellow
Obiwan: I'm sure Padme will be safe while we are gone. *he hops
into the passanger seat*
Padme: *gets attacked from behind*
Obiwan: Just be sure to....*The speeder is ammeditly flying
off* BE CAREFUL ANAKIN!!
(Iceman flys around traffic at a close distance unaware
that he's being followed)
Sparky: That was close...now...ICEMAN!! WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!
Gary: Hey...this isn't like driving a race car you know...*tilts
the control stick and they go flying in circles*
Scott: I think I'm going to be sick...
Sparky: POINT YOUR MOUTH THE OTHER WAY DAMNIT!
Gary: Wheeeee! More circles. *He tilts the controls even more
waving through traffic and pissing people off*
Alien: *speaking swears in his language*
Obiwan: This guy doesn't seem to be from around here. Though
his skills at flying are quite impressive.
Anakin: Not impressive enough master. Watch this. *Anakin tilts
the controls and now he's flying right over Iceman*
Obiwan: Good work my young padawan, now to get in close.
Sparky: *looking around and noticing the pursuit* Iceman! They
are following us!
Gary: They are eh? Makes things a little more exciting.
Sparky: What are you gonna do...*starts to panic*
comes to a complete stop as Anakin and Obiwan fly right
Anakin: What the!? *Anakin turns ammeditly around*
Gary: Alright, now let's go up. *Iceman turns the vechicle
upwards and starts racing for the sky*
Scott: *mouth fluttering around* Aaaaaaaaahhh AAAAhhhhhh!!
Sparky: You'll get us...all killed...you....crazy....Eskimo!!!
Obiwan: Anakin...he'll more than likely kill himself. What he's
doing is suicide!
Anakin: I donno Master...He's doing stunts a 2 year old can
perform. *Anakin follows in hot persuit*
Obiwan: ANAKIN NOOO! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU....!!
Anakin: Relax Master, I know what I'm doing.
(Both speeders fly at an enorumus height, Iceman changes
heights and goes down, but can't seem to shake off Anakin)
Gary: Damnit! He won't leave me alone!
Sparky: If you've seen Episode 2, you'll know that you'll never
escape Anakin Skywalker...
Scott: *still trying to catch his breath*
Gary: Oh yeah...we'll he never met me...*Iceman starts speeding
as fast as the craft can go*
Sparky: I just want this all to end....please...
Anakin: *speeds after him*
Obiwan: WE need to get back to Padme! Forget these clowns...let
them kill themselves.
Anakin: Alright Master. You're right. *Anakin stops chasing
them and turns around*
Obiwan: You're actually listening my young friend...good.
Sparky: He stopped chasing us...I don't belive it.
Gary: WHAT, AND YOU'RE DISSAPOINTED!?
Sparky: But he's "the" Anakin Skywalker...
Gary: Just whose side are you on anyway? *Gary flys away from
the crowds* Now to find Red.
Obiwan: Alright Anakin, we are almost there, so...
Anakin: If you'll excuse me Master...*he jumps off the speeder*
Obiwan: He'd better not make a habit of this...
falls down the crowded sky until he passes all the cars
and lands on Iceman's speeder*
Gary: What the F*** was that?
Scott: He found us!
lights his light sabre and slashes the craft*
Gary: I just got this thing pollished damnit!
Sparky: YOU STOLE IT!
Gary: So...I should light up on the sarcasm...
Anakin: *slashes again and brings the craft down on the streets
Alien races get out of the way as the craft finally
comes to a complete stop*
Alien: *yelling swears in his language*
Anakin: *standing over the reckage* Okay, enough. Come with
me Thief. NOW!
Sparky: *gets out* Okay, you caught us. We'll come quietly...
Gary: *sucker punchs Anakin and grabs Scott and Sparky* I
ain't goin' anywhere punk! *takes off*
Anakin: Bastard! Everyone knows not to hit such a beautiful
face! It's War!! *just as he was about to take off he
was interupted by Obiwan*
Obiwan: ANAKIN! Calm down! Use the Force...
Anakin: SCREW THAT! THAT BASTARD HIT ME IN THE FACE!!
Obiwan: He didn't!? Everyone knows not to hit you above your
Anakin: *takes off after them*
Obiwan: *throws his Jedi Handbook* Won't be needing this now.
*meanwhile on a nearby building*
Gary: The signal is coming from here.
Gary: You found Red!?
Scott: Nope, cupcakes are done!
Gary: *smashes them over his head* I"m looking for Red! Not
having a snack! *looks at Sparky* what the heck is the
matter with you!?
Sparky: You hit Anakin in the face...
Sparky: Everyone knows you never hit him in the face...
Sparky: *grabs Gary by the collar* You really don't know shit
about Star Wars Do you!?
*it was then a sound of a light sabre came to the three*
Sparky: *drops the tiny Eskimo* Oh no...it's him.
Anakin: You'll pay for what you've done! *approachs Iceman with
glowing white sabre*
Gary: What you going to do? Hit me with your glow stick?
Anakin: *swings and slashes Iceman's head clean off*
and Scott: Oh my gawd...
Gary: *head rolls around on the ground* ALRIGHT! THAT'S IT!!
*his head rolls up to Anakin's foot and bites it*
Anakin: What the hell?! *tries to slash the head but ends up
slicing off one of his toes* AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!
Gary: How do you like them apples Jedi Fart!? *his body screws
his head back on*
Anakin: *swings his sabre at Iceman again*
Gary: *dodges* That trick only works once pal...*grabs Anakin's
Anakin: You are quite worthy...*kicks Iceman away using the
Sparky: Shit! Gary's going to get creamed! We gotta stop this
Scott: Looks like he's fairing pretty well if you ask me.
Sparky: Well...nobody asked you!
Gary: *is flown to the back wall*
Anakin: Pathetic. Can't believe you even want to challenge a
Gary: You can be the Queen of England for all I care...you're
going down! *gets up*
*Gary continues his assualt on Anakin, getting blown
back by The Force and suffering several slashes from
his light sabre, however Gary kept coming back for more*
Gary: *fires off Ice Slashers at Anakin only to have them
reflected off his Light Sabre*
Anakin: *catchs his breath* Don't you ever die!! *throws Iceman
again using the Force*
Gary: It's Mallet Time! *takes out mallet and teleports behind
Anakin: Where'd he go now? *slashes a full circle*
Gary: *jumps just barly missing the sabre and lands on Anakin's
back* Piggy back ride bastard!
Anakin: Ufffff.. *slashes upwward*
*Gary's mallet is shaved in half*
Gary: *watchs Mallet fall to the floor slowly* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Sparky: Whoah...nobody has ever stopped Gary's Mallet Death
Anakin: *grabs Iceman from his back and throws him to the ground
with Light Sabre pointing to his throat* Had enough?
Gary: Not really...*uses his robot legs and trips Anakin*
Sparky: Enough Gary! You're way outmatched!
Anakin: *gets up* Grrrrrrr...*is unable to move* What the!?
Gary: *is unable to move* Hey! What gives!?
*Both Scott and Sparky are unable to move*
Anakin: Obiwan!? Is that you!?
Obiwan: Yes, my young apprentise. I sence we are wasting our
Anakin: Wasting our time, Master!? What -
Obiwan: These three are not assasins. I've never seen ......
droids ..... like these before. But they clearly have
nothing to do with us or our plot. And now the REAL
assasin is gone and Amadala is in grave danger. We must
Sparky: Wait! We'll help!
Obiwan: They kept you busy enough.
Anakin: But ....
Sparky: Ah, quit whining, Vader.
so Sparky, Ice, and Bomb team up with the two Jedi.
They speed towards Amadala's room just in time to see
a female changeling armor and a man wearing silvery
Hunter: They're here!
Obiwan: Who are you!?
Sparky: Oh, it's Jango Fett! Father of Boba Fett! Wow, this
Jango: What!? How do you know about Boba!? Who are you!?
Anakin: Worry more about yourself!
six allies face off against the two bounty hunters.
In such close quarters and with the robot master's unusual
abilities the hunters fall and are captured by the Jedi.
And so, Iceman and his team are taken to see Yoda and
Mace Windu, leaders of the Jedi high council to see
what they know.......)
Gary: ........"Luke ..... I AM your FATHER!"
Windoo: I don't believe it.
Obiwan: And ...... I die?
Scott: But there's more!
Yoda: Unbeleiveable this is! And on your world entertainment
Anakin: I can't believe it. I'd never betray the Jedi! NEVER!
Sparky: Oh, about that. Palpatine is the hidden leader of the
Sith. And - get this - they've already BUILT the clone
army you're debating!
Anakin: But .... he's a good man.
Obiwan: They were right about your mother. We didn't get there
in time to save her, but ......
Gary: Wow. This'll totally negate the rest of the movie.
Yoda: From us, something you want I sence.
Gary: Yeah ...... actually we're kinda worried about this
guy. Red. He's supposed to be around here, but......
Well, he's a living machine, like me. In fact we're
practically the same person! I really need to find him.....
Yoda: Hm. Come closer and perhapes help the force can.
approaches the old Jedai and sits before him. Yoda places
his hands on Iceman and reaches far into the galaxy.
His forehead creases as he probes some more and then
Yoda: Found him, I have! And ..... senses ME he does!
then in a blaze of fire, Iceman Red appears!)
Red: What's going on!? What happened? I.....
eyes lock with Ice's)
Red: Who ...... are you?
Gary: You mean ...... you don't know?
Red: Know what?
Red: I know that you look like me .... except blue. I .......
felt you. Out there. I've been so ...... alone. I don't
understand. Why do you look like I do? Who are you?
Gary: I'm ....... I'm Iceman! And you're Iceman Red! Dr.Light
created you before he created me!
Red: What!? Iceman ...... Red? It sounds right. But, I've
never seen you before in my life.
Gary: But ..... you......
grabbs his double, shaking him in confusion.)
Gary: You're RED! You eat souls! They give you power! You've
come here to eat the souls lost in the clone wars ....
but we've prevented all that! You'll never rise to power
and you'll never destroy humanity!
Red: I ..... I'd never do ANY of that! ........ You're hurting
the two are separated. Mace Windoo eyes both robots
with steady eyes.)
Windoo: It appears more has changed than you thought.
Gary: I don't get it.......
Red: Why do you hate me so much? I don't know of what you're
talking about! I came here because I thought we were
Yoda: Change time you have. With clone wars avoided, evil
Red has not turned.
Obiwan: I believe master Yoda is correct. I sence no evil in
Red: Please ......... you can tell me ....... who am I? I've
wondered ....... for so long. Am I really ...... that
Gary: You're .......
Gary: You're my brother. And, no. You're really not bad at
Scott: So ..... the mission's over?
Sparky: Then we can go home! Red's good now!
Red: I'll get to see my home!?
Gary: Uh ....... Red. I'm sorry, but this crystal doesn't
have that kind of power. It has enough for us three.
Once and only once.
Red: Then ...... then stay here! We can still be together!
Gary: I can't. I'd like to, but I have responsibilities at
Gary: But don't worry! You'll live to see me again! And this
time ..... this time I know we'll be friends!
Red: I'd like that.
Obiwan: In the meantime, may I suggest that the young robot
stay with us? He may not be able to become a Jedi, but
I'm sure he can be of help.
Yoda: Stay with us ...... he can.
Red: I'll miss you, Ice.
Gary: I'll miss you too, Red. And, hey! Call me Gary!
Red: Goodbye ..... Gary!
confident of their success, Sparky, Scott, and Gary
all return home.)
at Sinister Six headquarters only a few hours have passed
when Gary and company have returned!)
Ben: I was like ..... aw, nuts. They're back.
Gary: Well, don't seem too dissappointed.
Gauntlet: So, did it work? Is Red dead? You're back safe and sound
so I can assume he must be!
Andon: *hrumph* really, you shouldn't sound so pleased.....
Sparky: Well, not exactly. It was actually kinda funny!
Scott: Never had so much fun spoiling a movie!
Gary: Wait. "Is Red dead?" Why would you ask something
Ben: Why? Because Red is pure evil!
Andon: ...... and if you had succeeded we wouldn't be able
to remember any of it. Would we?
Scott: I'm confused.
Sparky: But, -
Andon: Hey, I'm getting a message from Jason! He's spotted
City Garage and wants our help!
Gauntlet: Ah, go get him, Ice. Whatever happened to the mission
beating up Garage'll make you feel better!
Gary: Maybe you're right.
Scott: Sinsiter Six ..... REUNITE!!!!
be continued... In Ice VS Red